2008/08/10

Is he your Mr Right? Or Mr Right Now?

that's a question worth thinking about.





B asic
I nstructions
B efore
L eaving
E arth


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


i realise that i have been chatting with father a lot a lot more recently

maybe i need people to talk to?

father asked me yesterday "so, got any boyfriend?"

i said "nope"

then he asked "why? "

me " they all dont like me "

father "then got any guy in ur class that is good looking? go after him la!"

father said " nvm... u going Germany right? go for the ang mo guys la.. "

and.....

i heard my mum from the background "she sure not good enough to get all those ang mo guys la!!! "

=/



-_-! i think it has been toooo long that father knws i am being loved ....

and he's always afraid that i will end up in a situation where nobody wants to marry me


all the fathers are the same

he is afraid that i might call home some day and crying on the phone, telling him i was dumped and felt so hurt

what makes him more worried, is that i swollen everything to myself ... i was so so so hurt and yet dont tell him a single word about what happened

that's why he has been asking and asking...

he believes that if he can knw the thing from the begining, then he could minimize my hurt...




i knw he gets pissed with me sometimes when i am not sharing my feelings with him

he would keep asking me "why cant u just tell me? i am supposed to be the closet person to you. we are familys, can u just try to rely on me?"


but i am sorry papa.. i cant always pour out all my problems at you and wait for you to think of a solution for me

i have to carry things in my own hands

i cant always hide in your shelter ..

in fact, i am far far away from you, i am living in a world without you..

so i have to take care of myself, try to be strong....
and learn my lessons even it's through the most painful way...




daddy's girl has grown up :)


really strong...

mentally and physically

dozing off at 11:55:00 PM