2009/11/30

i really thought i would use the patrick skin forever....
but somehow, the picture just died....

i like my new skin :D
hyun joong is looking as good as ever
just that i dont know what is lee min ho doing down there.... >_<


<3 hyun joong~

dozing off at 11:50:00 PM

watched gokusen with FYP group on friday
there were many familiar faces shown in the movie....
reminded me of my old japanese dramas....

i miss them all :D

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
of course, the main male lead of the show 亀梨和也
he belongs to the group KAT-TUN.. he's always so skinny and so pretty
yeap, pretty...
he's not really my type of guy, but seeing him in the movie was nice
it's like seeing some old friend on the street...
i like his voice, when he's talking... he's voice was a bit like sanji.. of course, it's just a bit~

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

it makes me happier thinking about the past

it makes me even more happy when i'm seeing them

fuck the stupid woman

fuck her 1000 times

dozing off at 12:52:00 AM

2009/11/24

what if something/someone that u always believed to be correct turns to be wrong?
what if you tried your best for everything you do and yet ppl say you are not trying hard enough?

if everything i said was true, why cant i say it?

really, i dont see i did anything wrong
but i was scoled for everything i have done

all the hurtful things that she said to me
all the scolding from parents

still, i dont see myself doing anything wrong

i always do what they wants me to do
always
but i cant think the way they want me to think

i wanted nothing from this god damned dirty world
i lived and stayed because they wanted me to
but what if from the conversation, i sense that they want me no more?

i cant help but thinking about all the negative things
all the things happened in the past years
i cant go to school cause my eyes were badly swollen

i really really dont know what to do with the future
maybe i thought too much, there's no such thing as "future" for someone like me


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i really really really didnt want to go for training on monday
i get frustrated when i dont see myself improving
but still, i dont have the strength to move on

i dont really want to sparr in IVP
i only want to be a black belt. if that could be achieved by doing pattern, why bothered to train?

i dont like to do things like 360 or reverse kick
sorry, i really just dont like them, cos i sux at them...

i pulled myself together to go for the training... i thought we said we are all going for monday
i had the bad feeling while walking towards canteen 2
thinking about running back home after each step i took

if next time, you are not coming, at least tell me
5 mins before or even 10mins after the training start
so that i dont have to be alone

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i feel like as if i am all eaten by depression
can i keep skipping school until i feel better?

dozing off at 10:15:00 PM

2009/11/23

i actually felt happy after work
of course i am always happy cos working has came to the end... but there's also the kind of "i want to kill all the bastards" feeling inside me

and, i got a ballon.. :D helium
actually 2 at first, but one of them fly off at the changing room

ya, it's still there, stuck in between the pipes on the ceiling... too high for me to reach
so i only left one>_<
but still, i am happy with it :D

dozing off at 11:12:00 AM

2009/11/21

everything's perfectly fine when we are talking one to onebut when there's a group of ppl all the problems come
i quiet down a lot
i blackface a lot


i dont know what's going on with you
i dont know what can i do to show you that i dont want to hear all the things you say about me
i tried to talk to you about things that i dont like.... long long ago... but i dont find things improve for the better
the same old shit is just always there

i cry a lot recently
the family issues, working, things that you say about me, things that other ppl say about me... and even abt CCA

i really care hell a lot abt what ppl say about me...
i thought things will get better when i'm back with you people
seems like i might be better off if i used to meet you ppl like once in a while

a lot of times.... i really really wish that.... i could be invisible, if not, deaf at least
if sarcasm is always part of ur speech to me... i would prefer you speak none


i can take this no more

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
总是很迟才回家，想要打回去跟爸爸妈妈说点什么，他们常常都已经睡了
有一天，刚刚上网 妈妈的信息跳出来
妈妈打字很慢，这几句话应该是斟酌了很久才跟我说出来

只言片语，可是读过却让我失声痛哭
是我忽略他们太多

dozing off at 1:14:00 AM

2009/11/18

ohhh, this is so nice
claire is turning tobe lesbian
and peter is flirting with a deaf woman

i dont know what's the samuel is doing

i dont know what are they fighting against now

each person seems to be in their own life happily

why not just let them be?

so mian qiang


it was nice, some old friends came down for training last thursday
hope it will be the same this week :D

dozing off at 9:09:00 PM

2009/11/09

dont ask me "what time is it" when i come to work
ask me "what time did you go home the day before"

brainless people nv fails to fill up all the empty space in this world
they instore the whole world with a tap-card-then-you-can-come-in system
and then, not everybody can get the card
yes, yes, meet theneeds of full timers first
but when all the part timers come at 4:00 going back at10:00 how are we supposed to get into the changing room?
why not only borrow the card when you are having your shift
easier for everybody

use your brain sometimes

and,if i'm onlypaid between 4:00 to 10:00 yet you want me to stand in front of you at 3:50
you better make sure i can go home on time
when i swap my card at 10:37 i just feel like shouting "fuckyouall"


i hate the sentence " dont care"
can you please think for me please? if not, at least think for youself
when ppl look at you with the kind of "what the hell are you doing?" expression on their face, i wish i dont know you

if i said "ok" in a diff tone in the middle of a conversation, that actually means i want to end that topic
if i said "haha,so stupid" with a fake laugh, that means, i am not interested in whatever you are talking about/showing me.... but still, i respect for whatever you like and you wouldlike to share with me, hope you could do the same if i showed you something not funny at all.
i dont really critisise abt the things/people you are passionate about, please dont make fun of mine as well
there are a lot things that it's not okay for me to share with others, eg: my account balance, my weight my pictures inside the phone.... please dont try to peep.... i really freak out and fucking feel like chop off some fats from my body sometimes... dont push me to the limit...
and seriously, learn to keep your distance, i need my own space...


thank you very much
hope we will have a great time together


i know i am not smart, but nobody love being called stupid
would you like me to call you tiny dick all the time?

dozing off at 1:46:00 PM

2009/11/07

找到一个就算别人说自己疯了也无所谓的事
知道那有多么困难吗？
别人说了什么 又有什么关系呢？
江小瑜什么时候也开始在意那些了
前辈说 想做的话，去做就行了
不管花上几年！！
干杯~~~


国民前辈 <3

dozing off at 1:03:00 PM

2009/11/03

it's hard to control the distance between me and ppl
we are friends, but still, things said without any intension hurt the most
if i joined taekwondo for CCA points, i would have quitt after the first year
if i joined because of friend, i would have quitt after the 3rd sem

i will go on, with a friend or without a friend....
i wait for nobody

laugh at me for my miserable CCA points
laugh at me for how slow and weak i am now
laugh at me and say i am left on the shelf

i will be good one day
and then, i kick your balls!

dozing off at 3:56:00 PM