2008/12/31

Happy New Year People!!

i spend so much time typing my sms... and i guess the singtel ppl are busy celebrating their new year, and they dont even wana send a msg for me...

they must be woohoo-ing and clapping their hands really hard

=/


+++++++++++++++++++++++++
so, here is the 2009 that i have long waited for...

not only because i would be turning to 21.. but also, it sounded nice

i guess i had the plan of getting married this year since i was 13 or 14 =/

ya, everything is ready.. just that i dont knw where is my Mr Right...

hopefully i will continue to be such nice person in the year 2009... :D i will try hard on this!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

again and again, praying hard that everything will turn to be ok

so that i could work again, i could earn money again...

i could have things to complain to my friends when we are drinking....

i could have excuses not to go shopping or not to do something *hee.*

so that.. i could be happy :)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i guess there wont be any photos coming up at this blog for some time...

cos after i cut my hair, i dont look nice =(

yesterday, met up with Norman & swee at queensway...

TO COLLECT MY SHIRT!!!

yes, they look geogerous :)

and then, to vivo... for sakea sushi..

and then, to some dont knw what japanese restaurant...

so.. i was super full.. after some sushi and a salad...

what's the best part was.... we went to some German bar at vivo.. drinking some excellent beer... and after that... i start not to feeling well

maybe it's me ate too much

or it's the food doesnt go well with beer

or it's i drink too fast

or it's the stupid bus we took

i just so not feeling well.. and so feel like vomitting....

moments after trying... i vomited twice

=(

even though i laughed after the first time... but still, there was tears coming out from my eyes.. it was a painful process =(

that's kind of upset... cos i have to go to bed after the throwing up... =(

drinking is supposed for happy... not to make me feel unwell

=(

so haiyu shall not drink in such a way ever again

luckily that haiyu didnt have any headache this morning

=)

+++++++++++++++++++++++
okie.. here's something that entertains me

i guess it's because i am having some tooth problems, and i am going to take out 2 of my teeth

so everybody is talking about their teeth and dental experiences with me :D

"i very lucky, 3 almost straight, 1 almost not straight"

how nice to be =/

what a lucky guy =/

dozing off at 11:35:00 PM

2008/12/29

it hurts.......

hope i could get some sleep tonight

God bless me

dozing off at 1:33:00 AM

2008/12/28

really, there are some nice people that will brighten up ur day :D

thanks for being so nice to me~~ really....

last night, i was in pain... really pain... pain until a extend where i just want to knock my head against the wall so that i can fall "asleep" and get away from all the pain i had...

i dont really talk about the bad things that i suffer to dad... but this time, i really cant take it

nothing much... just my teeth

:(

but it really hurts like hell...

forgive my limitation of words... it's fucking pain!!!! yes, FUCKING PAIN!!!!!

so i turned up my lappy... but seems like my neighbour wasnt in a good mood... i could log onto MSN, i could chat... but i cant see the webpages

so i had some chat with alvinN ... to distract meself from the pain

and i tried my best to concentrate in the funny shows, so that i could forget about the pain...

really thanks to my friend-----alvinN

thanks for accompanying me going around the world
really thanks for helping me when i needed someone the most

have been watching the show "friends" ... what they sing is really right "always be there for you"

how sweet :)


and thanks to my neighbour.. who allows me to come online and keep bla bla bla here :)

even though it seems like i can only use my internet at certain corner of my room.. i am happy with it :D

thanks to the nice Singtel guy... i dont want to bring up any more troubles for him.. but really, his effort has made me smile... and feel so so so happy~~~~

weeeeeeeee


i am such a lucky girl


+++++++++++++++++

things about flyer isnt so hot any more.... so praying hard that everything is going to be fine after the new year.... so that i can get back to work...

=(

i miss flyer

i miss the process of printing money -_-!

+++++++++++++++++++

for the fact that i am really not feeling well at all....

really think i couldnt make it for this up coming grading... i dont have the time to learn my pattern.. so forget it

i shall go for it next time

and... shld i fight in the IVP?

i am not prepared... both mentally and physically

and now, i am like living just to eat porriage and stuff....

not much extra energy could be generated for tough physical trainings

but still, i want to give it a try..

i know meself very well... if i stop again, at this point of time.. then that's it for me and Taekwondo.. i wont come back for it any more

i still want to try my best

i still love my Taekwondo... for the first time in my life... there's something that i really want to do it well...

Fight till the end...

dozing off at 12:30:00 AM

2008/12/25

so.. here is a picture of what my room looks like now

sometimes, when i wake up in the morning.. i just get so shocked to see such a big mess of things

WOW...



the process has been always the same...

see my long hair, then i get irritated by the long hair here and there...

so i go cut it really short

and then regret for cutting it...

yesterday, i kept a photo of the me with long hair...

and now.. my hair is super short again :D

i knw ppl will say that it's not nice.. but nvm, i like it to be short

dont worry, i wont upload any photos here... cos even me get a bit shock to see my own image in the mirror... and yet, while i was eating sushi teh with Lee... i cant stop peeping myself in the mirror...

it's just like u see someone funny... and u cant stop looking at that person

is that me in the mirror? WOW... ppl change really fast

i wear-ed my MR STRONG shirt today

as what alvinN expected... ppl stare at my shirt... not only they read my shirt... they also read my face

see what see... girls canot wear MR STRONG shirt is it?

later i poke ur eye balls then u know!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

me is super concerned about the flyer issue now... i am even buying English newspapers just to read about how's things going at flyer

i went back flyer again today... =/ because i stupidly took the ear piece back home on tuesday

there are still ppl coming to flyer... just to see it? or they didnt know that it's not moving any more...

the more newspapers/comments i read... the more pissed i get... people just got no shame

still dare to tell the newspaper reporter that "they pee-ed inside the plastic bags of snacks they brought up"

eh, hello!!!! NO food and drinks are allowed up there..

we had hard time cleaning up after all those bastards who eat insinde the capsule...

some people are not worth saving

some ppl actually risked their life to save all those greedy bastards

what's wrong with using rope????? lucky the wheel moved again... what if it canot be moved until 3 days later?? what kind of other ways can you think of?? if there's no better plan, then shut the fuck up!!!!!

maybe we shouldn't bothered so much

maybe we shld have told the ppl inside the capsule "hold on tight people.. u will be landing in 20 seconds' time... cos we are chopping off the central shraft"

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

dozing off at 11:31:00 PM

2008/12/24

清心寡欲的生活

first of all, i must thank all my neighbours for being so nice to me... after turning on my laptop, then i realised..... what a friendly neighbourhood i have moved into :)

i am lazy with to photoes.. cos i dun think the neighbours are nice enough to provide me with a super good connection...

anyway, haiyu is NO GREEDY!!! so i am happy with what i have now :)

+++++++++++++++++

things went smoothly this monday... i am now officially staying at bukit panjang

just that i am still not so used to the fact that i am not living at west coast any more...

still have the thinking that i can walk home from west coast park... =/ and still very tempted to take 51 back home

and i've got like 20 over boxes thrown everywhere on my floor... waiting for me to unpack them one by one...

i feel like so so so stress and so lazy to touch any of them

new house is good so far...

i still sleep well... except those times that the kids were running and playing on the corridor... as if their father bought the whole building for them to play

>=/

please la... keep ur little monkeys in the cage all the time


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i really really miss Flyer...

i was working yesterday, when the wheel stoped for 6hrs

it's heart pain... when we were so worried, and tried each and every way we could, to help and to save all the people.... and yet, all we receive was complains, and scolding....

and seeing all the ugly side of singaporeans

not to talkabout those traped inside... it's normal that they are angry and they scold us... but all these passerbys.... all they did, was stop watch, and take pictures... people were under high pressure up there... trying to save lives and the flesh from cameras had never stopped... until all of them was chased away...
虽然还不到煽风点火的地步。。。 但也有点唯恐天下不乱的意思。。。

人心不古


i really dont want to talk about what i saw.... how i feel yesterday... it's just helped me confirm that this is not my place... i shall leave here as soon as i finish my bond with the government...

really thanks for all those people who SMS-ed in to ask about my safety... haiyu is as fine as ever.. and she's happy to see that all the people are safely returned to the ground...

i knw this will sound very boring... but please treasure ur own life, treasure the ones that you love.. cos u wont be with them forever.....


i actually went back to flyer today... just to see it

it makes me sad when i see the wheel is not moving again

it has been always there... moving.... serving each and everybody that came to flyer... and now it's no longer there

i cant work for now... dont knw when will i start working again

i am so free and so empty

this is the real world... no matter how many good things you had done before, once you make a mistake.... u will never be forgiven


i thought i would have spend my chrismas with chocolate
but end up all the part timers are not required to work today and tomorrow... and dont knw how many more days to go...

i miss flyer.... so so so much

i miss chocolate... a bit.....

dozing off at 11:31:00 PM

2008/12/22

i suddenly realised that i forget to take back my santa hat from flyer

it was left inside the cupboard on deck


:(

:(



hopefully it will still be there when i go to work on tuesday




and one more thing

name list of my friend

Peck Sin Lee

and

Lim Jian Hong AlvinN
(my non-official counsin)



yes, 2 friend

not like what u think, 1.5

i shall make all my statements very very clear

i shall try to

dozing off at 12:31:00 AM

2008/12/21

here's a bit to blog today....

went to alvinN's place for the celebration for all the december babies....

when food is standing there right next to me... i cant stop eating

:D full satisfaction was achieved by eating....


and then, there was this little drinking session for those who stayed over at alvinN's place


see who i found!!!!

it's spong bob... :D

but sadly, his good friend patrick was no where to be seen



haiyu's best at this---------act emo

dozing off at 10:17:00 PM

2008/12/20

guess i am really lucky, i am on deck again today :D

yes yes yes!!!

but there's something funny, the more i wana avoid someone, the more i will work with her

somehow, she's always with me... =/

and also, there's sesame to "suffer" together with me :)

(i dun knw his name.. and everytime i talk to him is to say "open" ... this reminds me of the alibaba story....... so i shall call him sesame :)



i think i shld start to love all my wednesday :)

that's the time that i get to meet chocolate :D

actually it's very simple, just that i feel happy whenever i see him... that's all

nothing else :)

听说人都是很贪心的。。 希望我是 没有很贪心的那一个。。。



+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my plan of one day one meal ONLY has been working well

1 more kg to lose before my IVP ...

after 3 weeks of such a plan, i think i am going crazy...

it's like those "vegetarian" vampires can survive on animal blood... but when they taste a bit of human blood, they will just suck that person dry

so yesterday, after my training

most probably it's because i am hungry and tired.. and there are just so many nice food at BTM... so i ate one pork chop + one carrot cake...

>_< i ate a lot... really..... but nvm, at least i exercised .... and some advice taken during the dinner time no like = nv to go out with him O_O go out with him = hint hint i like him o_O so... i shall go out with nobody.... i dun want to promise anything, but i shall try my best to stay single... to control my emotions i still got 4.5 yrs here.. change me if you can... then i will stay for the sake of u


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++
the fighting fighting haiyu has came back...

but it just make me frastrated when my mind really want to fight, but my stamina is not there to support me
i sux

maybe it's self disappointment ... or rather self abuse.... i ran-ed after training....
i so so so wish that i could be good be faster, be more accurate
i can tell that i am not as good as the last time
it makes me heart pain i love taekwondo...
i really really love it i love taekowndo, exactly the same way that i love myself
i want to do it well

aza aza fighting!

>=I

dozing off at 12:35:00 AM

2008/12/18

♥ it started with the little me totally filled up with happiness

♥ saw him on the way walking to flyer

♥ i thought i would be put-ed at second floor... cos i was on deck on Monday... to my surprise, i am on deck again~~


happy time was spend...


then came the not so happy ones......

anyway, i just find it very rude if ppl try to talk in their minimum voice when they are in front of me.. as if they are talking about some top secret?? as if i am so interested in whatever they are talking about

it is really not i want to be racist... it's just that they are not pleasant enough for me to like them



sometimes, or rather most of the time... i really hate this work... maybe not really this work but some of the ppl that i am working with

only if i am given another choice

then....... i wont have to work under all these unnecessary stress and unnecessary bullshits



♥ 老天爷 really loves me... i was with chocolate :D

in return, i shall love 老天爷 back


老天爷 i love you!!!!

sweet dreams to u

thanks a lot for all ur effort to make me happy~

i really appreciated

:D

dozing off at 12:13:00 AM

2008/12/16

getting the idea from Lee... i deleted many of the groups in my MSN

and created a grp called RUBBISH!!

how cute~~~

dont ask me who is inside, actually it's easy to see.. as long as u dont belong to anything that is above, u are rubbish :)

i love my wallpaper... that's why i printed screen of it as well :)

sometimes, i think i really love her so much that i wana be a lesbian

but she dont want me!!!!

:(


met up with alvinN for "breakfast" at 11am

eaten the KFC breakfast that i craved for....

some how, i came up this new theory that "i would rather wait for bus than wait for ppl"

no matter what, the bus will come and pick me up.. even if i miss the last bus of the day, few hours later, the first bus of the next day will still come

however, there are some ppl, that will never come...

true enough, most of the ppl did turn up in the meetings... but, there are still bastards who dont... but, 100% of the buses are nice :)

so... i shall wait for bus, and i wont wait for ppl

whoever makes me wait, is evil...

i will start to be impatient and start to hate all those ppl who makes me wait


i knw, friends (yes, i only left 2 friend now.. but lucky i still can say friendS.. if not, really pathetic)

my friends are worried about me... i had a bit of emotions over the weekends, and had a bit of hard time.. but now it's all over..

consider youself lucky when u see the emo side of Miss Ever Cheerful... maybe, i cant call meself Miss Ever Cheerful already... shld be, Miss Most-of-the-time Cheerfull..

XD another long name...

haiyu is not strong.. but she recovers fast

:)

no worry... i am as fine as ever

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

spend my whole afternoon doing the packing up at homee

seeing all my things all over the place... left and right, up and down... the idea of "BURN THEM ALL" come across my head

抓狂抓狂抓狂。。 感觉自己分明就是要把全世界都放进纸箱里面去！！！

packing was slow... partly because i spend "a bit" of time reading my old diary-s
those that wrote when i was much younger... seeing all the childish words and chilidish discriptions... how cute was me... how cute IS me!! :D


the other reason for the slow packing------------------ photo taking


this shirt was only worn for once... i shall took some picture with it

:)

another shot~~~~




this dress had never been worn before
i shall try it out~~

WoooHoooo... it looks nice!!!



see, i look as cute as always :)


OMG, i have a qipao!!!

it's NICE!!!!!

i mean real nice... nice nice nice~~~

也不知道是不是我变肥了，还是旗袍都是那么贴身。。。
突然间想到了《色戒》里面，汤唯说的那一句 “勒得我都喘不过气儿来了”




see~~ that's why packing up the clothes is tiring, troublesome and time consuming


not to forget, i did pack up my shoes as well

my Favourite shoes!!!


these are the ones to be thrown away



and these are the ones to be kept, loved and taken care of

:)

22pairs

X(


i love them all~

dozing off at 10:35:00 PM

packing up

this is the only time that i hate myself for having too many shoes... to many clothes....

guess pictures will be up later...




so stressed =(

dozing off at 3:33:00 PM

2008/12/15

actually it seems like i could only make friend with guys/gays/girls who are not so girlish

life is hard most of the time

i worked happily today... cos i get to drink the cocktails which were used for photo taking NICE!!!!


:D




most likely i will stay home to pack up tmr

and....

looking forward to work on wednesday!! XD


sometimes, when i am so down and i need my smiles back

i just plug in music that i love... and then think of you



i think, i really need my smiles

dozing off at 11:01:00 PM

2008/12/14

some updates on my schedule ... almost the whole year has been booked....

stress...




+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i shall talk about it here... so many things happened in these 2 days...

i really wanted to find someone to talk to

but seems like even myself are busily occupied... so... end up couldnt meet anyone

so.... i shall write it down here all

i am suppsoed to meet him 12:30 at queensway today

some how, i sensed that he would oversleep... cos it's a rainy day?

i was more or less prepared for waiting

while i was on the bus, i called him... my call was directed to the voice mail immediately..

then i knew very well that he is still sleeping at home

so... the history repeated itself again

SMS no reply
CALL dont pick up
and the whole world dun have his house number

so... i dont knw where to go or what to do

i went to Mc... eat my "breakfast" alone.. just to wait for his reply



and then at 1:09pm this msg came in
"Omg! Dun wait liao i juz woke up. Shit lar. Haiz i hate myself.. Shldnt promise u.. "

then i told him
"haha, i knew it. what time u going back school? i writing book at mac. u can come now"

1:15 pm he said
"Dun wan make u wait summore leh.. Haiyo. If go nw wil reach 1hr+ later leh.."

i am lazy to check my outgoing box... guess i just told him nvm i go no plan in the afternoon, i can wait...

the next msg is at 1:40 pm
"OH y i promise u again? I shall nt do sumding i hav no confidence of acheivin. Sure carn withinin 1hr de. Den later oso most prob later no jog le oso cuz rain.."

my msg at 1:45pm
"so now, just tell me are u coming or not"

last msg before i get pissed at 1:48 pm
"Bt 3 u stil wan wait meh? i dun wan u wait so long lor.."


at 1:54pm
i totally got pissed and replied this msg
"ok. then u no need come le. i will go on my own. the thing is not i want to wait or not. it's just u wanna come or not. i tink u better dun come le. cos now i dun feel like waiting any more."




i've got nothing on in the afternoon... and he's got nothing on in the afternoon.. at first.. i really wanted to wait all the way just for him to come

but i can see the unwillingness of coming in his messages..

i knw, this is the problem of understanding other ppl too much... when someone thinks "please help me" and i will really understand, then to help him
and when someone thinks "you irritates me, fuck off" ... then i will go off, and nv to come back

i knw it's kind of sian feeling... u are 1hr 20mins late for a meeting... and yet u will make that person wait some more... but guess someone said before "it's better to be late than never" actually, if he just told me to wait for him until 3pm or even 4pm... i would wait... at least he came, i would be more than happy

maybe it seems like i "begged" or "forced" him to come with me today..
so i just tell him now... if there's anything like this next time ... if you really you dun feel like coming, just tell the person...

at least, i could have find someone else

and when i ask you a question like "tell me are you coming or not?!"

this kind of question can only be answered by "yes" or "no"

you just tell me, "yes" or "no"

dont bullshit with me saying all the fucked up things like "i dont want you to wait"

you just fucking tell me are you coming or not... so that i knw i shld continue to rock in the Mc or to proceed make the shirt on my own!!!!



and he kept asking why did he promised me in the first place

so now i tell you... the original plan was i make shirt for the December babies in the class
and i am doing you a favour for making it your shirt as well.. i needed help and suggestions from others... so i thought you could help.... and i asked you to come along

also because.... i wrote in our book something like you dun care about the class, or u always try to avoid when we need you to pay the money first....

you wanted to prove me wrong....

so, do you remember all this?


no matter what, i still went to meet you in the rain
waited for you 1hr 24mins

i expected a "sorry"

maybe it's because you just woke up from sleep... forget la forget la...
nevermind la... nevermind la


instead of making 10 shirts, i just made 9...
you know exactly which one is missing...
take this as an revenge


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i went back home to put down all the CDs which were supposed to be passed to him

and then headed to Starbucks

i was feeling really really bad

i should say that there's 2 person that i always feel happy when i see them

Razer and Chocolate

so, i went to Starbucks... praying hard that he's working... and i could meet him for a little chat

i must say that the 老天爷 really loves me a lot... 5 mins aft i sit down, i hear him talking.... supposed he's working at 4pm... he came early today

i cant explain this... maybe it's just fate


somehow, you could hold all ur feelings emotions and sadness when you are alone

but when you see someone that is concerned about you... ask you what happened... you just cant take it any more...

all the sadness burst at once

i couldnt stop

i broke a promise of my own... see, this is why i hate promises

promises are like "fuck you" always said, but seldomly done

i hate all these!!!!


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

went to orchard alone after a small chat with Razer.. feeling much better

but still way far from feeling good

actually i wanted to go back flyer and take a ride

but i really dun have mood for that

flyer shld only be taken when i am happy

so i was just wondering around orchard road

no mood to shop

no mood to talk


i am sad
cos all the effort paid seems to be useless

i have been thinking about everything over and over and over again

i've really tried the very best of me in our friendship
i tried to treat you like the way i treat Lee or AlvinN
but things just dun work out


i think i shall remember today's date

let's call it a lost of friend


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i have said everything that i want to say

dont explain to me any more

please dont comment on this, dont ask me about this


i am not in a good mood

for your own safety, please dont talk to me

dozing off at 10:30:00 PM

okie... here is a roster of my DEC working time table... i tried my best not to touch all the monday and thursdays...

even under the temptation of chocolate =/

dozing off at 12:31:00 AM

2008/12/13

holiday has arrived 1hr ago... WoooOoOooOooooHooOOooOooOOoooo

finally got my t-shirt design done :)

hopefully everybody would like it...

i dun want to spoil my surprise any more... so i shall stop here

=D

surpliiisssseee!!!!



at first, i was reluctant to go work today

but....

end up it was a fun fun working experience today :)



i knw we are not suppose to give private capsules

but, so much like me... he also would help nice ppl to get their private capsule when it's possible


i was on Deck

i was with chocolate

time fly-ed fast... i nv even noticed when it's time for me to go

what a nice day :)


again, i just wana

WoOooOoOoooooHoooOooOOooOOooooo

XD

dozing off at 1:08:00 AM

2008/12/12

haiyu learn fast man!!

:)

from uncle's pasar malam theory...

haiyu came out with her own TPFF theory :)

how smart is ME~~